Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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