so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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