Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
