This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
