We got so high we made milksteak
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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