I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
