Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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