oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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