worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
