these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
