you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
