I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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