My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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