No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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