So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
