Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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