Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
