____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
