hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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