pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
