I feel great
I just peed on a car
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
