Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
