it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
