Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
