yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
