We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
