I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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