Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
