Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
