Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
