Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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