i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
