Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
