The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
