ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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