piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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