I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
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