Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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