I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
