What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
