is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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