she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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