I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
