I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
