Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
