If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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