I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
