Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
