ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
