I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
