i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
